by Lisa Marsh, The AFA's London Correspondent
I recently attended the 1st International Medical Conference in London, hosted by Chana, a not-for-profit organization serving the Jewish community. In this ground-breaking event, Chana brought together specialists in fertility medicine, Rabbis from the UK and Europe, local GPs, midwives and counsellors, Kallah teachers (Jewish pre-marital instruction) and members of the community.
I attended the conference, titled "Facing the Fertility Challenge Together," to learn about the part that Jewish (Halachic) law and culture play in a couple's decision-making process about fertility treatment. While Jews represent only about 2% of the population in London, and only .5 % of the total UK population, the greatest concentration of Jewish people are in the areas of Hertsmere and Barnet in North London, comprising 11% and 14% of those communities, respectively. The majority belong to one of the Orthodox Jewish sects, ranging from the Modern Orthodox to the Ultra-Orthodox. I think it’s fair to say that within those communities, both religious and cultural traditions govern the way that individuals conduct their personal lives. Their Judaism is inseparable from the rest of their personal identity. The Orthodox community favours early marriage, some still arranged by parents to ensure appropriate matches, and large families. On the one hand, I wondered how individuals within that community cope when faced with infertility and pregnancy loss. On the other hand, I wondered how religious leaders within the Orthodox community respond to some of the ethical dilemmas posed by ever-changing technology in fertility medicine.
Chana sprung from the need for mutual support of a few infertile, Orthodox Jewish women fifteen years ago. It has developed into a large, charitable organization dedicated to informing and supporting infertile people across the entire Jewish community. According to Carolyn Cohen, Principal Social Worker at Chana, they hold many fertility-related, educational programmes in the London area and have provided support through its Helpline to callers from as far away as South Africa. Callers are not asked any questions about their religious affiliation or beliefs. However, it must be emphasized that Chana takes a sensitive and respectful stance on the place that rabbinical guidance plays in family matters within the Orthodox community. In the Conference guide, it is noted that “Rabbonim (Rabbis) advise members of the public to seek professional Rabbinical guidance before embarking on fertility treatment.”
As you may expect, in practice, even among Orthodox Jewish fertility patients, some will involve their rabbis in the enquiry, discussion and decision-making process, and many others will not; afraid perhaps of what their judgment will be. One might suspect that Orthodox Rabbis are restrictive, operating under very old-fashioned values and uninformed about matters of fertility, medically-assisted conception, the use of third party donors and new technologies. I discovered that, far from shying away from the very progressive area of reproductive medicine, the Orthodox community is using its strong links within the medical field to educate itself about the causes of infertility and miscarriage, the emotional impact they cause upon the couple involved, the availability of treatment and its accessibility. There were 90 Orthodox Rabbis present among the 400 people attending the Conference. Dr Simon Fishel, Managing Director of Care Fertility Group and a member of Chana’s Medical Advisory Panel, told me that Orthodox fertility patients sometimes bring their Rabbi with them to consultations in an effort to reconcile their family-building goal, their diagnosis and the medical treatment available with their religious beliefs. According to both Dr Fishel and Carolyn Cohen, there is no one rule which governs a Rabbi’s judgment about any aspect of fertility treatment; they take each couple’s situation on a case-by-case basis. The overriding intention is to help the couple achieve parenthood if at all possible.
As in other cultures that promote large families, there is enormous pressure on Orthodox Jewish couples to conceive early and often. An infertile couple in that situation may feel particularly embarrassed, ashamed, judged, isolated and/or excluded. Added to that, the extreme privacy with which matters of intimacy are regarded, it can be difficult for them to seek advice and support. Chana successfully negotiated the interests and needs of the various members of the community by providing separate, single-sex meetings for men and women, and entirely separate seminars for
Rabbis, Groom and Bride Teachers attending. This enabled members of the packed seminars to listen to matters of marital intimacy, such as the consummation of marriage, and ask questions after each presentation without the potential embarrassment of a mixed audience.
Some of the lectures were all about the current status in a given area of fertility medicine, such as the one on recurrent miscarriage by Prof Lesley Regan, of St Mary’s Hospital, Paddington (London). Prof Regan carefully explained the research in which her team is involved, why miscarriage occurs and the restrictions upon investigation and treatment under the National Health System. None of the facts or figures was specific to the Jewish community. What made this lecture and the others unique was the context in which they were made. Care was taken by speakers to respect the particular sensitivities of the largely Orthodox Jewish, female audience, how they communicate and the level of privacy they cherish. Their cultural norms also present characteristics that form a part of the patient's history to be taken by a fertility specialist. For example:
1. Sexual history - Patients may be very reticent about matters of sexual function and intimacy, which are generally not discussed in mixed company. Without a full and frank discussion of their sexual relationship, her menstrual cycle and fertility health issues such as sperm production, it could be very easy to mistake very early miscarriages for a failure to conceive or vice-versa, complicating potential treatment. Understanding of the sensitivities involved, as well as religious proscriptions against consummation of the sexual relationship prior to marriage, would be essential for a good doctor-patient relationship;
2. Genetic History - there are certain genetic mutations which affect Jewish people, which would be exacerbated by inter-marriage within the relatively small Orthodox community. One in 27 Ashkenazi Jews are carriers of the gene mutation that causes Tay - Sachs disease, while only 1 in 250 Sephardi Jews are carriers. Therefore, genetic testing may be an earlier focal point in couples who are both Ashkenazi Jews. Additionally, the usage and source of donor eggs and sperm is of particular interest, so that any potential incestuous relationships among future generations are absolutely avoided;
3. Emotional aspects of the patient's infertility - Because having children is such an integral part of an Orthodox Jewish's woman's life purpose and her marriage, those who fail to conceive could feel particularly pressured, leading to feelings of anxiety, failure and low self-worth.
Chana does not limit its support to the Orthodox community; however that is largely where its users are from. Perhaps it is because Jews from other sects do not feel as strong a connection between their Judaism and the medical decisions they need to make. However observant they may be, it may simply never occur to members of the Reform or Liberal Jewish movements to consult their Rabbi about an inability to conceive, a need for assisted conception or a decision to stop trying when IVF fails. It is likely that they believe their needs for emotional support are adequately met by other people who are trained in talking therapies and/or infertility. While I didn’t glean any definitive information about how fertility treatment is viewed in relation to Halachic Law, I did come away with the feeling that Rabbis seek, where possible, to permit medical assistance for infertility rather than preclude a couple from having a family of their own.
If there was one element missing from the conference, it was the absence of any personal examples of how infertility affected members of the community and how they have resolved or might be able to resolve them. I didn’t hear anyone speak publicly of their personal experience with infertility, or with their need for medical assistance and emotional support. Questions for the speakers were carefully phrased very generally or technically, changing the nature of the intended “workshops” to more of a lecture or presentation. It was not until I had a chance to read the very personal, albeit anonymous, stories, poetry and letters in the remarkable Chana Magazine, that I understood the unique social repercussions of infertility in the Orthodox Jewish community and how Chana’s services are a lifeline for those affected. The message was clear: no one in the community needs to bear the pain of infertility or pregnancy loss on their own. Isolation is unhelpful; reaching out is worthwhile; help is available.
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