The AFA Blog

It was a very good year

by Corey Whelan

I'm snow bound.  Two feet of snow in NYC and not a plow in sight.  Truth be told I've been enjoying these forcibly slowed down days, just me, the kids and the dogs.  Of course Cabo (my three legged nut job) is having a hard time traversing the four feet high mounds of mush so he's getting carried as much as he is getting walked.

It's good to slow down.  Slowing down lets my body and brain relax, and reminds me to give thanks for mine and my children's health and vitality, and also, to look out for my neighbors, the elderly, those who need help right now.  It's good to remember to pull together.

It was a very good year.  The AFA staff and board, our friends, our neighbors in the infertility community, pulled together in new, meaningful ways too.  I know it sounds cliched, but it's true.  It was a very good year.

For me personally, one of the things that made this year so meaningful  was how much fun I had.  My job is fun.  I'm grateful for that too.  Not everyone looks forward to Mondays, I'm very fortunate that way.  In 2010 I got to spend a lot of time writing.  I wrote for this blog and I wrote a series of fact sheets and videos, most of which went viral and really helped people move forward in their family building journeys.  I wrote my first children's book and I'm proud of all that.

In 2010, Ken Mosesian and I were privileged to speak to college students at Yale.  That experience was powerful in ways we did not expect.  We touched, moved and inspired (and also entertained) young people who were eager to learn from us.  The AFA will be continuing this college tour program throughout 2011.  We will be lecturing at the University of Boulder, along with Mark Bush M.D., and also at the University of Maryland.  Talking about infertility prevention has become a significant part of The AFA's mission simply because, we want to help people avoid infertility if we are able to do so.

I continue to be excited about writing for Examiner.com.  Examiner just signed an agreement with Reuter's, which will give us a greater scope than ever before.  My column's subscriber numbers have tipped the 6,000 mark and I anticipate reaching 10,000 daily readers by mid March, at least.

I am proud to be the editor of this blog page.  Our writers and contributors dig deep to bring you the information you need to know now about family building, every day.  The variety of voices on this page enlightens and inspires us all.  I guess its lucky six's for us, because the blog's readership is now around 6,000 per week as well.

So yes, it's been a very good year.  This year has brought me special faces to hold in my mind's eye, a sense of pride and wonder at life, and a new love of kangaroos.

Happy New Year, dear friends.  My heart holds only hope for all of you.

xo,

Corey

 

 

A Life of Grace.

by Ken Mosesian

"You all know that I have been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces – my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope. These graces have carried me through difficult times and they have brought more joy to the good times than I ever could have imagined. The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human.

But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful. It isn't possible to put into words the love and gratitude I feel to everyone who has and continues to support and inspire me every day. To you I simply say: you know."

This last Facebook post from Elizabeth Edwards continues to haunt me, especially at this time of year. Perhaps it's because my mom and all of my grandparents died within a few weeks of Christmas. So this holiday always reminds me of family, and of those who have gone before, and of my own mortality. 

Or perhaps her words had the impact they did because what she wrote is so rich. To speak of gratitude and love and hope in the face of death requires an almost supernatural grace. A grace that she clearly had.

And maybe that is why people were so deeply moved. In a time in which we might rightly ask if all civility has vanished from America, a time in which mean-spiritedness is exalted and rewarded, along comes Ms. Edwards to remind us of the infinitely greater power of good.

"The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that."

We do know that. That's why we want to leave a mark, to make a difference for good, and for so many, to create family. There is something about a part of us continuing into the future long after we are gone that appeals to us.

So here we are once again. Christmas. The New Year. The magic of January 1, a clean slate and infinite possibilities. What would happen if we all committed to a life of grace, a life of hope, a life, in Ms. Edward's words, in which we all made a "...daily effort to have a positive impact in the world..."?

This is my New Year's wish for us all. For our families. For our children. And for the children we hope to have.

Ken Mosesian

Executive Director

 

New Year's Resolutions

by Merry Armentrout

I've noticed a pattern in my New Year's Resolutions- they're always the same. Eat healthier, lose weight and exercise.  I'm already justifying my bad eating habits over the holidays with the promise for a new year, new you attitude.  I've made a decision. This year will be different. I mean it!

It started this morning over breakfast.  Instead of using the holdiays as an excuse to eat unending calories, I chose egg whites, wheat toast and fruit instead of the french toast with real Vermont maple syrup and whip cream...not an easy thing to do.  Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of rich and delicious food choices over the holiday, but enough is enough.

There are a number of articles citing the importance of health and fertility. The female body is most likely to conceive when it is within 15% the ideal weight. So if you're looking to get pregnant, losing weight shouldn't be just a New Year's Resolution- it should be something to strive for year round.  

As 2011 approaches, end 2010 on a positive note. Don't use the last few days as a pig fest, use it as a way kick-start your body and health.  During infertility, so many things are out of your control.  That's why it's important to control the things you can- your health, mindset and mood.  It's important to make sure you're getting adequate vitamins, including folic acid- for your health, and your future baby's health as well. Folic acid supplementation is particularly important since studies have shown that adequate stores of folic acid can greatly reduce the risk of neural tube defects in the fetus.  It's best to get vitamins through food- focusing on lots of fruits, vegetables, grains and lean protein can help you get the nutrients you need.  A vitamin supplement is always a good back-up plan.

If you're a smoker, than a perfect New Year's Resolution is to quit!  The Attain IVF website has a great article on the 5 Facts About Smoking and Infertility.  Bottom line, it's bad for you, your fertility and a baby.  Smoking also effects infertility treatments- such as IVF, and smokers have an increase risk for miscarriage. 

The New Year is a great time to focus on a new you.  This year I'm forgoing a resolution.  I don't have to wait until December 31st to eat healthy- I will start now.  Here's to a Healthy and Happy 2011!

 

Consciously Creating Signs of Hope

by Connie Barrow, MPA

 "Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all."     ~American Poet Emily Dickinson

 These final days of 2010 bring a time for reflection of the past 12 months and plenty of prognosticating about the next twelve.  As for all of us on our fertility journey, the burning questions on our minds are…

 

• ·       "Will this finally be the year that I become a mom/dad?"   
• ·       "Will I finally get pregnant?" 
• ·       “Will I finally be able to adopt?”
•          "Will I finally connect with my child?"

 When the answer is not yet evident, yet to be revealed, that is the time to look for a sign to keep hoping, to keep going, not to give up.  The real test for every single one of us is to continue placing one foot in front of the other.  Hope holds the power to propel you from where you are now to a new place with new possibilities.  By consciously creating signs of hope wherever you find yourself in the present moment, you shine a light on the path ahead.   

 Some of you may be hesitant, fearing that you are just going to be disappointed by creating "false hopes."  I will be the first to tell you that there is no 100% guarantee in anything (except of course the ole "death and taxes" adage).  Yet, there is nothing like seeing the power that hope brings to allow the spirit to persevere, to continue despite present circumstances.  Over my 5-year fertility journey, hope was what got me through every month, every miscarriage, every failed fertility treatment, and every poor prognosis.  Hope was my anchor.   

 If we only expect more of what has happened in the past or that which appears highly probable in the future, we limit ourselves not only in the end but also in the experience of the journey itself.  Every experience in our life is here to teach us something.  The lesson that is available to each of us in the "preconception/pre-adoption waiting room" is the opportunity to grow our capacity to be hopeful…to believe that we will connect with our child! 

  Here's the Bottom Line...If hope is what it will take to sustain you from where you are now to the possibility of a "Yes!" to connecting with your little-one-to-come, then focus on ways that you can consciously create hopefulness in your life. 

 If it feels comfortable for you, you can get started by trying some or all of the following activities and exercises this week:

 1. Create an altar in your home as a special place for you to connect with the Divine and your little-one-to-come through such activities as prayer, meditation, lighting of candles, inspirational reading, journaling, and guided visualization.  Place special objects that have meaning to you on the altar.   

 2.  Create a vision board with pictures of yourself being pregnant or with your adopted baby, as a family, by taping pictures of your face over pictures of others cut out of pregnancy or family-related magazines.  Look at it every day, just after you wake up and right before you go to sleep.

 3. Connect with one song that resonates a hope-filled message to your heart and let it become "Your Baby's Song."  Enjoy listening to it often!

 4. Create a sign or token for yourself intended to remind you to be in a hope-filled perspective.  This can be something that you put in your pocket or car or near your computer, something to hold and see often.  

 5. Write a letter to yourself dated the last day of next year (December 31, 2011 in this case).  Take some time to meditate or quiet your mind prior to writing.  In the letter, write as if it is December 31, 2011 and include reflections on the year--what has happened, insights gained, dreams that have come true, and any messages that you have for yourself one year from now.  Place it somewhere that you can read at least once a month and then finally, one year from now.

 Here’s to your 2011…May it be a year filled with Hope!

Connie Barrow is a Life Coach and President of Fertile Possibilities LLC.  Ms. Barrow herself experienced a  5-year fertility journey which included flunking out of fertility treatments, suffering multiple miscarriages, and receiving a prognosis of a less than 5 percent chance of ever conceiving on her own. She lives in Stafford, Virginia, with her husband and daughter and is currently writing a book about the divine lessons learned while on her fertility journey.

Floating feather photo: Runar Brunslid and Anne Siri Eriksen. Christmas Butterfly photo: SortaCrunchy. New Year's Eve Ball photo: TimesSquare.

 

Journey to the center of 999 reasons to laugh at infertility

For most, experiencing infertility will be one of the most emotionally challenging periods of their life, filled with highs and lows, ups and downs and everything in between.  Of course, everyone deals with their fluctuating feelings in different ways - seeking counseling, joining a support group, writing a blog, and too often, keeping emotions to themselves.  For two women, however, humor has helped them cope with their infertility experience, as well as serve as an outlet for creative expression.  One has thought of 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility and the other has written a one-woman comedy show that she performs for audiences across the country.

On the next episode of the popular radio program The Surrogacy Lawyer: Your Guide to IVF and Third Party Family Buildling,  Theresa Erickson, Esq. will discuss infertility humor with Infertile Naomi, writer of the wildly popular blog 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility and Kathleen Puls Andrade, creator of Journey to the Center of the Uterus.  The show will air on Thursday, December 23rd at 11AM PST/2 PM EST on Voice America and is a special holiday treat for our listeners.  Click here to log into the show.

 

Infertile Naomi started her blog after coming to “…a realization that crying every month was starting to get a little boring and it didn’t seem to help the situation…”  She decided to change her perspective and embrace the humor in infertility. In addition to her own blog, Naomi writes a celebrity-related infertility blog for the Fertility Authority. Kathleen Puls Andrade has been an actor, improviser, voiceover, writer and teacher in Chicago for several years.  In 2009 she premiered the original show Journey to the Center of the Uterus™: Adventures Infertility!, a poignant comedy based on her own roller coaster experiences.

 

 “If you believe that laughter is the best medicine and you can laugh through your tears, please listen to what these two extraordinary women have to say about infusing the infertility journey with humor,“ says Attorney Erickson. “ But if you feel infertility is too serious a subject to laugh about, you still might want to learn how laughter has helped these two funny ladies cope with all the challenges they have faced.”

 

 About Theresa Erickson, Esq.

 

Ms. Erickson is the managing partner of Erickson Law and the founder and chair of Conceptual Options, The Surrogacy and Egg Donation Center. In addition, Ms. Erickson is the author of the newly released Surrogacy and Embryo, Sperm, & Egg Donation: What Were You Thinking? Erickson was motivated to write her second book so she could educate potential intended parents, as well as the women who become surrogates and egg donors, about what all parties need to know if they are going to become involved in third party reproduction.

 

 Attorney Erickson is a globally recognized expert in this specialized area of law and is a board member of the American Fertility Association and the legal director of Parents Via Egg Donation. For more information, please visit www.ericksonlaw.net and www.conceptualoptions.com.

 

To log into the show or, to listen to it afterwards, click here.

Photo of Laughing Woman: PhotoXpress

Modern Family for Modern Times

by Merry Armentrout

I have to start off this blog by apologizing. This should have been written last year. On May 19th, 2010 to be exact.  That's the day a truly unique television show debuted. 

I had heard the hype for the ABC show Modern Family from the beginning, but never actually sat down to see what all the fuss is about.  A few weeks ago I discovered an On Demand station on my TV that let me watch reruns of current shows. I decided to take the plunge, and began watching an episode of Modern Family.  Most people would say funny when describing this show- it is after all a comedy. But I'm going to go with real.  Everything about it feels real. The characters, the actors who play them and the plot line.  

I've said this many times before, but whether you want to admit it or not, the face of the American family is changing.  This show not only embraces this reality, but celebrates it with humor.

The show follows the lives of one family- the father (Jay Pritchett) is a middle-aged man who is married to a much younger, hotty wife with a son. His daughter (Claire), who takes on the traditional wife role with a husband and 3 kids, and his son (Mitchell) who is in a same sex marriage and who with his spouse has  (Cameron) has an adopted Vietnamese baby named Lily. 

The whole cast is hilarious, but Mitchell and Cameron take the cake.  It's evident they love each other, love their daughter and have a hell of a good time.  It clearly illustrates that a good marriage, a good partnership, doesn't have to consist of a man and woman, that what makes a marriage work is so much more than that.  That's what makes this show so modern.

I'm fortunate to work for a modern organization. An all-inclusive organization. The American Fertility Association- we want to spread the joy of family to everyone.  We recognize good parents come in all different forms, and that everyone has the right to a family. That includes the LGBT community. We offer numberous articles on family building information and an LGBT professional network.  We also just added a new HD video fact sheet to our library on Reproductive Options for Gay Women.

Thanks to the improvements in scientific technology, through third party reproduction, gay men and lesbians are able to have children- along with their heterosexual counterparts who are struggling to conceive naturally. Another option in family building is adoption.  Mitchell and Cameron adopted a Vietnamese child.  When you look at this family- they couldn't look more different than what you might consider a traditional family.  Granted it's just a show, but the characters have enormous amounts of love for each other.

So, cheers to you Modern Family! It's refreshing to see the real world in fictional plot lines of a national television show.  It shows Modern Family is a show for the modern world.

   

 

Timing Sex

by Craig Niederberger, M.D., F.A.C.S.

If you’re trying to get pregnant, something useful to know is how often to have sex.  Sperm counts peak at two to three days after ejaculation, meaning, after you have sex (or masturbate,) the swimmers will be most abundant two to three days later.  Sperm live for about 48 hours in the female reproductive tract, so the optimum timing is sex every other day.

However, don’t freak out if you have an especially romantic weekend with a little extra frequent activity, or get caught up and miss a few days.  Stressing out about sex is counter productive, as stress itself can result in poorer sperm quality.

I’m often asked when during the month (or cycle) a couple should try to conceive.  Studies show that conception usually happens up to six days before, and ending on, ovulation.  The big problem is that most tests for ovulation show the event after it happens.  So a good plan is start having sex every other day after menstruation ends, and keep going until the next menstruation.

So, soldier on.  Have sex every other day.  Doctor's orders.

Craig Niederberger, M.D., F.A.C.S. is a highly published author and editor, and head of the Department of Urology, University of Illinois at Chicago. His blog, Male Health, and other writings will be syndicated on this page for The American Fertility Association's readership 

Friends and Family

By Shari DeGraff Stewart and Julia Fichtner Krahm

Your support can change her life forever as she faces the crisis of infertility treatment.

Each of us can recall with clarity a person who was with us when we were in great pain or need.  Those moments in life stand out like few others.  You, who love an infertile woman, have the opportunity to support her in one of the most difficult experiences of her life.  You cannot change or fix the grief of her infertility, but you can alleviate some of the unnecessary pain that comes inadvertently from those around her.

Men also experience grief and pain during this time, but they have likely not dreamt of being a parent since young childhood.  A woman has been reminded of reproduction every month since puberty, and her life is more affected by other mothers and the talk and experience of children.  Husbands and partners, you will at times share her loss and pain, and other times your experience will be more like that of family and friends—uncertain how to care for and reach out to the woman you love.

One of the most painful experiences of her life
Infertility is consistently described as the most, or one of the most, painful experiences of a woman’s life.  The distress she feels has been shown to be at the same level as those who have cancer or AIDS, and when money is not a factor, it is the most-common reason infertility treatment is discontinued.  What some may mislabel  “obsession” on her part, is single-mindedness necessary for her to endure the emotional, physical, and (often) financial toll of infertility.  Hers is the love of a mother and she is fighting for her child.

Children break all the rules, or “The Fertile Myrtle” response
Because children are so wonderful, we sometimes unintentionally cause her pain by doing or saying things we would know to be hurtful in any other crisis.  Could you imagine if I disclosed to you I had breast cancer, and your response was, “Boy, not me, I’m the healthiest person in the world.”  While you may cringe that anyone would be so insensitive, you would be saddened to know many infertile women have confided their difficulty conceiving, only to be met with a “Not me, I’m Fertile Myrtle.  I get pregnant just thinking about it!”  Likewise we would not boast about a job promotion to someone desperately seeking work, but fail to see that reveling in the delights of our children and grandchildren is equally painful for an infertile woman.

So how do you reach out to and support an infertile woman or couple?
When you realize that infertility is as devastating as any other major life crisis, you will do all of the simple and profound things you would do for anyone who is facing a frightening diagnosis or painful loss.  First, there are just a few “don’ts.”

• Don’t offer advice, especially simplistic statements to “fix” her problem or her emotional distress such as just relax, maybe this was meant to be, or you can always adopt. 
• Don’t pressure her to attend or participate in events involving children, especially baby showers or gift-exchanges.

Do reach out to her often, with cards, words, questions, or invitations to balance the isolation and pain she is experiencing.  Don’t worry that you are going to remind her of her infertility; she hasn’t forgotten it.

• Acknowledge her feelings of grief, loss, anger, or hope:  I am sorry for all you are going through.  This must be so hard for you.  I’d be angry too!  You would be such a wonderful mother.
• If you’re not sure what she is feeling, ask her:  How are you?  Should you go to this event?  What do you need?  Is there anything I can do?  Can I call you after your appointment?  Can I stop by and see you or just sit with you?
• If you feel uncertain, you can always preface your questions with your desire not to pry:  I don’t know if you want to talk about this, but I’m here if you need someone to listen. Is this a good time?  Be sensitive to her response:  if she seems to close down the conversation, then ease back, but gently reach out again later. 
• You can rarely go wrong with cards or messages that say, “I’m thinking about you.”
• Be careful about including children in a visit or conversation.
• Invite her toward activities she finds life giving.  Often the best things are those that offer relationship with you or others and/or movement.  Don’t pressure her or scold her into behavior you think would be helpful. 
• Encourage her to consider her emotional and physical health when she is deciding whether to participate in a social gathering, and protect her by helping her leave if the situation is painful:  You just say the word and I’ll make an excuse for us to leave.
• Husbands/partners:  spoon with her when she’s grieving and don’t try to “fix it.”  Let her know, “We are in this together,” and demonstrate that commitment by doing your own research and participating in medical appointments and procedures.  Double your daily soothing touches, from a simple caress to a massage.  Don’t evade your and her pain by getting lost in work, sports, or the Internet.
• Everyone, remember the logistical difficulties of months or years of treatment:  perform simple errands or chores to allow her to reserve energy for what many women describe as the fight of their life.

For many infertile women, the most-common response from friends and family is... n o t h i n g.  While not your intention, doing nothing can feel like abandonment at a time when she most needs you.  If you can reach out to her in gentle and persistent ways, you can alleviate some of her pain that feels even greater when she is alone.  What you do today, can change your relationship with her forever.

Reprinted with permission from The Stewart Institute for Infertility

 

Filling the Loneliness of My Only Child

  by  Irish Waichler, MSW, LCSW

           Can I have a dog?  That is a question my 10 year old daughter asks me frequently.  I am sure many of you have gotten this question.  Her follow up line is “you know I am an only child and since you can’t have any more children a dog would be a great companion for me.” Ouch!  My kid knows how to get to the heart of the matter. People often underestimate how tough secondary infertility can be for all concerned.

              I believe on some level she senses the guilt my husband and I feel that she will never have any siblings.  I have thought about it and discussed it with my husband.  Being an only child can be a mixed blessing for children.  She gets our undivided love and attention.  She has pointed out the joy of having her own room and not having to share her possessions. She has joked about the certainty of inheriting an admired piece of my jewelry.  I see her loneliness sometimes when I offer to play with her and understand she is looking for the companionship of a peer.  I think about the responsibility and perhaps burden she will inherit being the only caretaker for her elderly parents.

            What can we the parents of only children do to help them?  The first thing I did when she was old enough was to have a conversation with her acknowledging that I understood the hardship being an only child was for her.  I explained that I also wished I could have had more kids.   We talked about the reasons adoption and additional pregnancies were not options.  

            What I have done is to create almost daily opportunities for her to be with other kids.  We are fortunate that our neighborhood block is very kid friendly.  She participates in camps, activities, and school related programs.  She has a wonderful instinct (like a big sister) to help younger kids by playing, supervising, and reading to them.  I encourage invitations for kids to come to our home so she has that much needed companionship.  She has seen through us that friends can be like family.  We have created a tight family network with kid cousins and other relatives we see as often as possible.  This gives her a solid sense of family relationships and their ongoing importance in our lives. They will be in her life long after I am gone.

            We travel frequently and so a dog remains out of the question.  Her aptly named hamster, Speedway, is the newest member of our family.  He has become something of a companion for her.  He certainly does not erase her being an only child.  She loves talking, playing, and taking care of him. Grace takes comfort from the sound of his wheel as he leaps on it to do his nightly marathon.   She knows when she gets old enough having a dog will be an option.  I know as she gets older the foundation we are building today will help her to continue to have love and people in her life to help ease the loneliness she inevitably will feel.

 Iris Waichler, MSW, LCSW, has a Master’s Degree in Social Work and has been a licensed clinical social worker for over 30 years.  She has done workshops, individual, and group counseling with people experiencing infertility.  Ms. Waichler is the author of Riding the Infertility Roller Coaster: A Guide to Educate and Inspire. She currently writes freelance infertility and health related articles.

The Gift of the Present Moment

By Brenda Strong

I have a confession to make.  I have been stressed out lately.  Yes, even yoga teachers can let life circumstances get the best of them.

The Holidays can be a challenging time for most of us.  We all long for closeness of family, warmth and an intimacy that may resemble our favorite memories from childhood.  If our childhood memories of family don't fill us with warmth, we may seek out a fantasy of what we think family could be that it wasn't. Either way, the holidays can fill us with a mixture of feelings that may be difficult to navigate; and unfulfilled expectations can leave us feeling lonely, especially if the family we long for isn't created yet. 

For many of us going through reproductive difficulties, it may be a time filled with sadness, longing, isolation and stress.  How can we navigate through this time without having a nervous breakdown or going into a depression?  The key is found in a word that is tossed around the holidays a lot.  Presents.  But instead of the kind that are tied up neatly in a bow with beautiful paper, the kind I'm talking about is free and available to us at all times.  Presence.  It is learning to be present, that allows us to receive the greatest gifts in life, the ones that touch our hearts, give us hope and connect us to ourselves, our bodies and each other.

How does one become present?  It's simple.  The quickest way to become present is through our breath.  Simply observing the breath as it passes through us, and watching it, brings us fully into this moment. When we watch the breath and are present, the body does a miraculous thing.  It opens.  And when our bodies open, our monkey mind slows down and so does our heart rate, and we become aware. When we become present to what we are feeling, we give these sensations an opportunity to release their power over us.   When we are in the presence of pure awareness, there is an opportunity to release the baggage of the past and the fearful projections of the unknown future.  There is just NOW.  And inside now, there is nothing to resist or grasp at, there is just what is.  There is a simplicity of BEING.  From this short time of connecting to our breathing, we are able to de-stress the body, release anxiety and receive the gift of this moment.  As we do this, we can start to string those moments together, and before we know it, we are on the other side of our feelings peacefully.

So this Holiday Season, as you gather together your presents for others, don't forget to give yourself the gift of the PRESENT moment. 

Someone once said, “The past is history, the future a mystery, and the present moment is all we have...that is why it is called a 'gift'."

Just remember, to receive the gift of life all you have to do is take it one breath at a time...  :-)  

Na "mama" ste

Brenda Strong is a certified 500hr E-RYT who created the Strong Yoga4Fertility program to help women worldwide.  She is the first national spokesperson for The American Fertility Association as well as a member of the board of directors. Her day job is playing “Mary Alice Young” on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES.