Consciously Creating Signs of Hope

by Connie Barrow, MPA

 "Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all."     ~American Poet Emily Dickinson

 These final days of 2010 bring a time for reflection of the past 12 months and plenty of prognosticating about the next twelve.  As for all of us on our fertility journey, the burning questions on our minds are…

 

• ·       "Will this finally be the year that I become a mom/dad?"   
• ·       "Will I finally get pregnant?" 
• ·       “Will I finally be able to adopt?”
•          "Will I finally connect with my child?"

 When the answer is not yet evident, yet to be revealed, that is the time to look for a sign to keep hoping, to keep going, not to give up.  The real test for every single one of us is to continue placing one foot in front of the other.  Hope holds the power to propel you from where you are now to a new place with new possibilities.  By consciously creating signs of hope wherever you find yourself in the present moment, you shine a light on the path ahead.   

 Some of you may be hesitant, fearing that you are just going to be disappointed by creating "false hopes."  I will be the first to tell you that there is no 100% guarantee in anything (except of course the ole "death and taxes" adage).  Yet, there is nothing like seeing the power that hope brings to allow the spirit to persevere, to continue despite present circumstances.  Over my 5-year fertility journey, hope was what got me through every month, every miscarriage, every failed fertility treatment, and every poor prognosis.  Hope was my anchor.   

 If we only expect more of what has happened in the past or that which appears highly probable in the future, we limit ourselves not only in the end but also in the experience of the journey itself.  Every experience in our life is here to teach us something.  The lesson that is available to each of us in the "preconception/pre-adoption waiting room" is the opportunity to grow our capacity to be hopeful…to believe that we will connect with our child! 

  Here's the Bottom Line...If hope is what it will take to sustain you from where you are now to the possibility of a "Yes!" to connecting with your little-one-to-come, then focus on ways that you can consciously create hopefulness in your life. 

 If it feels comfortable for you, you can get started by trying some or all of the following activities and exercises this week:

 1. Create an altar in your home as a special place for you to connect with the Divine and your little-one-to-come through such activities as prayer, meditation, lighting of candles, inspirational reading, journaling, and guided visualization.  Place special objects that have meaning to you on the altar.   

 2.  Create a vision board with pictures of yourself being pregnant or with your adopted baby, as a family, by taping pictures of your face over pictures of others cut out of pregnancy or family-related magazines.  Look at it every day, just after you wake up and right before you go to sleep.

 3. Connect with one song that resonates a hope-filled message to your heart and let it become "Your Baby's Song."  Enjoy listening to it often!

 4. Create a sign or token for yourself intended to remind you to be in a hope-filled perspective.  This can be something that you put in your pocket or car or near your computer, something to hold and see often.  

 5. Write a letter to yourself dated the last day of next year (December 31, 2011 in this case).  Take some time to meditate or quiet your mind prior to writing.  In the letter, write as if it is December 31, 2011 and include reflections on the year--what has happened, insights gained, dreams that have come true, and any messages that you have for yourself one year from now.  Place it somewhere that you can read at least once a month and then finally, one year from now.

 Here’s to your 2011…May it be a year filled with Hope!

Connie Barrow is a Life Coach and President of Fertile Possibilities LLC.  Ms. Barrow herself experienced a  5-year fertility journey which included flunking out of fertility treatments, suffering multiple miscarriages, and receiving a prognosis of a less than 5 percent chance of ever conceiving on her own. She lives in Stafford, Virginia, with her husband and daughter and is currently writing a book about the divine lessons learned while on her fertility journey.

Floating feather photo: Runar Brunslid and Anne Siri Eriksen. Christmas Butterfly photo: SortaCrunchy. New Year's Eve Ball photo: TimesSquare.