Serving those who hate.

by Corey Whelan

On Facebook, twitter, linked in, all of it, we tend to create networks of people who rubber stamp our ideas.  We get thumbed up a hell of a lot more than we get thumbed down, have you ever noticed that?  It's a funny thing to me, really, because my organization, my beloved organization, The American Fertility Association, is unique.  We aren't looking for a rubber stamp.  We are about family building and we are all inclusive.  We wrap our arms around the world and we do it with gratitude.  We welcome everyone, not just the population of people who sometimes call themselves "infertiles".  I hate that term, by the way, but that's not what this blog is about.

We serve everyone who needs us.  We welcome, encourage, support and educate anyone within our global family who is striving to create and raise their own, smaller, part of that family. 

Obviously and of course that includes LGBTQ individuals.  Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning people.  Of course.  Because people are people and families are families.  I say this with honor, consciousness and pride.  An overused word but I mean it from my heart, especially today.

Ok.  The AFA does not segregate our mission or our lists.  We put important family buildling information out there for everyone to access and to learn from.  Why am I talking about this now?  Because The AFA's posts about Spirit Day, an international initiative spearheaded because of the tragic, senseless suicides of six young kids who were bullied and pushed because they were gay, was greeted with a number of jeers and hate filled responses by women who are currently trying to conceive, on various pages online.

I read thoughtful posts as eloquent as "ugh".  I read posts that said "No one should be gay it's disgusting".  I read and deleted other posts I won't acknowledge here.  I got angry and I got sad and then I got angry again. 

So this is the piece for me, as a mom, that rises above all else.  I want to say to these women (at least on the various pages I read it has not been men) I want to say, what if the baby you are praying for, struggling for, dying for, is conceived by you and turns out to be gay?

What then?  My daughter was watching a TV news report yesterday about a young boy, obviously to her at least gay, whose family had an exorcism performed on him.  So is that your plan?  What's your plan?  What's your heart?  Tell me.  Tell yourself. 

The AFA is an open arms organization.  We want you to get the best, the most up to date, the most honest information that you can when you are building your family. We don't ask your sexual or political orientation.  We don't care about it, it doesn't affect our mission of serving you.    

I personally however have a request of you. I have something to ask, of all of the hate filled women who attempted to stamp that hate on a day about love, on a day about saving children's lives.  I ask that you re-think your entrenched, taken for granted views.  Yes, that's what they are. I ask that you think about the children.  The children here now, the children you hope to have some day.  Your chidren.   The perfect children you dream about when you think about getting pregnant.  Think about them. 

Look, I know I won't change any minds or hearts on this page today.  The collision of populations that we, our organization, serves, has served up something else for me, for us today, and I needed to give voice to that.  However, my request to you, stands.

Comments

[Stephanie Himel-Nelson]

Wonderful post, Corey! Love should always conquer hate and, until that's a universal truth, we all have to keep speaking up and doing the right thing.
Thank you for the wonderful work you and The AFA do for all of us.

Steph
Community Manager/Consultant
Attain Fertility

[Shelly]

Corey, thank you for so eloquently and passionately articulately expressing what millions of us were feeling yesterday. I'm proud to report that many people in our office came to work in many shades of purple, including executives! I applaud all that you and The AFA do to advocate and support families of all kinds.

[Theresa M. Erickson]

Corey,what a powerful post - anger often breeds change, and you should not be ashamed of that. You are a big part of the change that is coming, and you should be proud of it. Yes, ladies (and gents), let's think of the children - think of how our actions hurt, destroy, and kill each day. Think before you act or speak - the world would be a much better place.