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I read this article with great interest not only because I am the Founder of Parents Via Egg Donation, I am also the mother of one amazing little boy via egg donation. And more importantly if it hadn’t been for one lovely, incredible egg donor that (I am not ashamed to say) we compensated $2500.00 for her time, trouble, pain, suffering, and generosity I wouldn’t be the mother of our child who I love so much I sometimes forget to breathe.

Brenda Almond’s remarks about the trading of genetic material, cells, to slave trade honestly made me nauseous. Slave trade really? And those children who are born of those eggs from an egg donor are not able to assert free will over how the transaction takes place? Is she serious?

My question of course to Ms. Almond would be what free will for that matter does a child have whose parents meet in a pub or bar, have a one night stand, and Mom discovers two weeks later she’s pregnant and Dad is either nowhere to be found, or freaks out because the pregnancy was completely unplanned? What about those unplanned and unwanted children who are brought into the world?

Like Ms. Marsh, I too don’t doubt that Ms. Almond holds sincere views on the subject. Donor compensation yes, is controversial, but really does it need to be? I too am of the opinion that an egg is a cell and is not human flesh. Egg donors do not miss their eggs each month they menstruate; they go to waste each month they are not fertilized.

I would like to make one point and that’s: all donor egg pregnancies are “planned”. Meaning children born to recipient mothers are “wanted” quite desperately. No recipient mother brings a child into the world to harm them, or emotionally damage them. We bring our children into the world to love them so very much, to watch them grow, to share a part of us with them. For those of us who are partnered we have the desire to have a child with our husband or partner. Is that such a crime? For those of us who are single we just want to be mothers and fathers. It’s as simple as that.

Do I think that everyone who sets out to become a parent via egg donation should? Of course not. That’s like saying everyone who is capable of bringing a child into the world should procreate. With that being said the majority of recipient parents follow the guidelines set for by the ASRM here in the United States regarding egg donation compensation. Are there some who purposely don’t follow the rules and compensate outside of those guidelines. Yes, I would be naïve if I said no. However, that is probably less than 5% of the entire recipient – egg donor population.

In closing – the concerns about the emotional impact upon our egg donors, the recipients, the children conceived via egg donation and the egg donors children (if she either has children or future children she may have) need to be taken seriously. That is why it’s vitally important to have a mental health specialist involved in this process every step of the way to answer those questions that the egg donor, recipient, and children alike may have. It’s also why we at PVED support disclosing often and early to any children via egg donation about their origins because we feel they have an inherent right to know how they were conceived and brought into the world.

We are not freaks, we are just men and women who want to become parents. We have found an amazingly beautiful way to bring a child into the world. And so we have. I am so thankful that donor compensation is not banned in the USA. Without my egg donor I certainly wouldn’t have my son.
Thank you for the article Ms. Marsh, it was a very interesting read.

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