Ban on gay adoption overturned in Florida

 

by  Carolyn Berger, LCSW

On Wednesday I learned that Florida will stop enforcing its gay adoption ban, which has been in existence for 33 years.

 Until now, Florida was the only remaining state to ban adoption by gay men and women without exception.

 Honestly, I don’t know whether to celebrate or cry.  It’s undeniably a great step forward, but difficult to comprehend why Florida allowed gays and lesbians to become foster parents, but refused to allow them to adopt.

The story of Frank Martin Gil and his boys is at the heart of Wednesday’s decision.  When the two half- brothers came into his home as foster children, they were four years old and four months old. Their parents were crack-addicted, and like other kids removed from their home and placed in foster care, they were abused and neglected.  They both had ringworm. One of them had an untreated ear infection.  The four-year-old couldn’t speak, and he spent all of his time taking care of his baby brother.

In 2008 the ACLU represented Gil in his desire to adopt the boys, who were clearly thriving.  Adoption would give these children permanency, meaning that Gil would be their “forever” parent rather than their foster parent.  Judge Cindy Lederman wrote a decision stating it is clear that sexual orientation is not a predictor of a person’s ability to parent, and she ruled that Florida’s ban on gay adoption was unconstitutional. Gil was able to adopt his boys.

Later, the Florida Department of Children and Families challenged Judge Lederman’s decision, saying that the court had erred and the adoption was illegal.  On Wednesday Florida’s Third District Court of Appeals in Miami upheld the lower court’s 2008 ruling, and Gil’s adoption was deemed permanent.

Now it is said that The Florida Department of Children and Families is weighing whether to appeal at the Florida State Supreme Court.  Since Wednesday’s ruling applies to the Gil family only, a decision from the state’s highest court would provide a clear resolution in all jurisdictions.

We need a clear resolution—for gay rights and for children’s rights.  Both sides of the original 2008 case agreed that the boys were doing extremely well in their foster parent (and his male partner’s) home.  Both sides agreed that gays and heterosexuals make equally good parents. 

A final resolution of this matter would allow countless other gay foster parents in Florida to adopt kids and give them safe, secure homes, as well as the knowledge that their families couldn’t be taken apart by the State—unless, of course, there was evidence of abuse or neglect.

This is as it should be.  Right now there are 114, 550 U.S. children in foster care waiting to be adopted, according to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, a leader in the nation’s efforts to find homes for these kids. 

So, when two children who have endured abuse and neglect from their biological parents and have found physical and emotional well-being with their new parent, don’t we want this to continue?  All too often, foster children are shifted from home to home, never knowing the kind of family life so many of us take for granted. 

 Would we really want to interfere with a family that is doing so well just because the Dad is gay?

 I don’t think so. But don’t take it from me-- ask the 114,500 children who are waiting for permanent homes.

 Carolyn Berger, LCSW, is a Founder, Board Member, and Chair of the Adoption Advisory Council of The AFA. She has a private practice specializing in Fertility and Adoption in Larchmont and Manhattan.

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Carolyn Berger]

Kristeena,

It is truly hard to evaluate what the "best" home is for any given child. In Gil's case, he showed his caring and concern when he brought in two boys who were in bad shape. Lawyers on both sides said that the boys thrived under his care. He became involved in attempts to adopt them so they would have permanency. I'm not sure any of us could do any more than this. We would do well to find more "Gils," willing to provide "forever families" for kids who are too often moved from one temporary foster home to another.

[Corey Whelan]

Kristeena, who do you think you are? You are hawking your own penis enlargement website on our legitimate blog and where do you get off saying an uncaring gay? Where did you get that from? What nonsense you are spouting. I don't usually get this angry at stupidity but you truly take the cake. And yes, I decided to publish your comment, truthfully, so that people can get a good laugh at you. But feel free to post at any time! You were my comic relief for the day.

[Kristeena John]

I pity the situation that 114,500 children who are waiting for a home. But it is also important to what kind home they get if at all. They may be more secure in destitute children's homes than at the mercy of an uncaring gay.