by Sandra Watson Rapley
After years of struggling with infertility and feelings of
hopelessness my brother Clive and sister-in-law Victoria
offered Victoria
to be our surrogate mother. My husband Craig
and I were extremely happy with their offer but we never ever thought we would have
to take them up on it. I still held on to the hope that I would become pregnant
and that my body would not let me down. Another IVF attempt failed and after
some time of coming to terms with the fact that I could not have children, we
decided to accept Clive and Victoria’s
extremely generous offer. We wondered how it would work out because Clive and
Victoria lived in California and Craig and I lived in New
Jersey. In the
end there was no reason to worry about this.
The IVF procedures we’d been through confirmed that I could
produce eggs and they could be fertilized by my husband’s sperm so having a
child genetically related to both of us was still a distinct possibility. After completing the required
medical testing, psychological evaluation, and legal aspects, we were ready to
start. Clive and Victoria have two children
and did not want any more children so that requirement by our fertility center
was met.
We flew out to California
for the egg retrieval. Six eggs were retrieved and I had high hopes that they
would all fertilize in vitro. Out of six only two fertilized and made it to day
three. Having gone through prior failed IVF treatments with more embryos I
began to feel despair. Surely it would fail
again. We hoped and prayed that at least one of the embryos would implant. A
week after the transfer we found out that Victoria
was pregnant! We could not believe it. I was in complete shock. Six weeks later
we found out that we were pregnant with twins! We felt so fortunate and
grateful that both embryos had implanted. We were also lucky enough to have the
sonogram recorded on a video cassette. Craig
and I watched it over and over again.
Victoria
suffered with pre-term labor and extreme morning sickness. Fortunately I had a
flexible job which allowed me to work anywhere as long as I could communicate
by telephone and by email. So at week 16
I had already flown to California for one of the
doctor’s visits when I had to rush Victoria
to the emergency room because she started to feel contractions. One of the
better parts of being in the ER was that they had very sophisticated sonogram
equipment so we were able to view a very clear and detailed sonogram which
revealed that we were having two boys! She was immediately put on bed rest at
week 16 and would remain this way until the babies were born.
Throughout the pregnancy we were filled with every emotion
in the book – from worry to happiness, and from feelings of guilt to joy. I
rushed Victoria to the emergency
room on another occasion when the fear of early delivery scared us again. I
decided to fly out and stay with them for the rest of the pregnancy. When I saw
Victoria
she looked grey. I had never seen her look this way before.
It was during this time that I realized how bad her morning
sickness was. I was racked with guilt and teary eyed every time she got up from
the couch and waddled to the bathroom. I would sit there and wonder why on
earth she had offered to do this for us. She assured me that she knew exactly
what she would have to go through. She suffered terribly with morning sickness
during her pregnancies with her own children. It was then that I understood why
it was a requirement of the fertility center that a surrogate mother should already
have children.
Fortunately for us, Victoria
managed to carry our babies until week 36. Our fraternal twin boys were
delivered by C-Section and weighed 6lbs 15oz and 5lbs. I will never forget when
they came into the world – kicking and screaming. I was able to be in the
delivery room and I saw exactly how and when they came into the world. I was
filled with shock, joy, and fear. After the boys were swaddled they were handed
to me and both my arms were filled. A new worry came over me when I began to wonder
how I would feed them at the same time. Craig
arrived the following morning and saw our babies for the first time. He asked
“Where have you been? We have been waiting for you”. Our sons are healthy and
strong and are now eight and a half years old.
Clive and Victoria - thank
you both for your extreme generosity and kindness.
Sandra Watson Rapley is also the author of “Intended
Parents: Miracles Do Happen”
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