Mother Knows Best...or Does She?

by Merry Armentrout

My husband and I will celebrate our 5^th wedding anniversary next week.  We’ve moved five times since we exchanged vows… Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, Alabama, and now Maryland.  We’ve changed jobs, cars, opinions and neighborhoods, but one question has follows us across the country- when are you guys going to have a baby?

There’s no certain reason why we haven’t tried for children.  Everyone says you’ll know when you’re ready, and all I can say is I must not be ready. I don’t have an explanation, but feel as of lately, I need one.  I didn’t realize this until over dinner one night my mother admitted dejectedly she had given up on being a grandmother, and I laughed telling her I had plenty of time- I’m only 30! You could almost see my biological clock ticking inside her head.  

You might be getting the same question, but maybe your situation is different. Some couples try for years and years to have a baby, and continue to get frustrated, and at times embarrassed.  Whenever I mention to a stranger, or even a friend,  that I work in fertility it amazes me how many people  open up about their struggles to get pregnant.  It seems almost a jaded subject. There’s no need to feel ashamed about infertility because so many people are facing a similar battle.  My anxiety quickly lessens when I realize how many resources are out there to help us if we do have problems getting pregnant. 

My parents struggled for years with infertility, and made the best decision of their lives by adopting two children.  Ten years later my mother defied most clinical research and gave birth to me when she was in her forties…better late than never.   Whenever she gives me a hard time about only having four-legged creatures in my home,  I always remind her how much she hated to be ask the dreaded question when she and my father were struggling to have a baby. She hates to admit when I’m right.

If your family or friends keep asking why you haven’t had children…just quote my mother, “It’s nobody’s damn business.”  She would also tell you what’s meant to be will be, whether you end up having four children or just a four-legged pet. 

Mother might always be right…but only you can decide when you’re ready to become a parent.  If you’re having problems don’t be afraid to seek out help. And if you’re just not sure if you’re ready, then hit the snooze button…as you recall from high school, if your alarm clock doesn’t wake you back up, your mom certainly will.

 

Comments

[jwoap]

Outstanding:)