I received several emails over the past couple of weeks from people regarding children and the Catholic Church. The AFA is a family building organization, and we've made no secret of our belief that religion factors into family building decisions, particularly IVF and other forms of ART, more strongly than people may know. And religion continues to play a part in people's lives once the children are born. The first series of emails centered on the controversy in Boulder, CO, where the Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School denied re-enrollment to a child because the parents are lesbians. According to the Archdiocese, "Lesbians living together as couples are in disaccord with Catholic teaching."
Officials at the school went on to state that everyone must sign an agreement in order to enroll their children. The agreement, in part, states: "No person shall be admitted as a student in any Catholic school unless that person and his/her parent(s) subscribe to the school's philosophy and agree to abide by the educational policies and regulations of the school and Archdiocese." Staff members were told not to discuss the issue with the media. While it was infuriating to many, and as the parents pointed out, inconsistent - the school enrolls non-Catholics, non-practicing Catholics, children born out of wedlock, and children of divorced parents - it was legal. It's a private school. And what's relevant to this blog is that the reason was framed in the broader context of the best interest of children. Again, I don't agree, but from the Church's perspective, having lesbian parents would send a message that the Church somehow approved of non-traditional parenting constellations, which it sees as a grave injustice (their words, not mine) against children.
The second series of letters arrived as a result of the developing story of the Pope's personal knowledge of, and handling of, the case of a priest who had molested children. The bottom line is that the Pope, in his previous position as Archbishop of Munich, allowed the priest to be reassigned to another position also involving children, where it was reported that he continued to molest children.
And I thought, how tragic this was, and how ironic as well. The Church takes what it considers a principled stand for the welfare of children by keeping out a pre-schooler with lesbian parents, while at the same time keeping child-molesting priests in circulation. The secondary tragedy is that the Church has and can be a voice for good - for the poor and oppressed, for justice and equality - and that voice los some of its clout this week.
There are those who will not see how all this fits on a fertility blog. But as we've been saying over the past couple of years, there's a bigger picture: infertility prevention, age-appropriate sex education, reproductive health, reproductive choice, men's reproductive health, family building options that encompass adoption and child free living as well as forms of ART, pregnancy and parenting, and in the midst of it all for many, many people - religion. Its influence is undeniable, adn we'll continue to comment on it.
Dear Marna,
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate the passion that you have around this issue and how well you articulated your concerns. I keep coming back to my own disappointment. That this 2,000 year old institution founded on the principle of sacrificial love seems to stray so far from what I consider its true mission. The potential to do good is enormous, even if that only means engaging people in a conversation so they feel heard and respected. You can count on us to keep the conversation alive. Thanks again.
Ken
Posted by: Ken Mosesian | 03/29/2010 at 11:51 AM
Ken - I have so much to say about this I am not sure where to begin and I thank you so much for being brave and writing about this.
You said this all in a nutshell:
"And I thought, how tragic this was, and how ironic as well. The Church takes what it considers a principled stand for the welfare of children by keeping out a pre-schooler with lesbian parents, while at the same time keeping child-molesting priests in circulation."
Frankly, I am not surprised in the least that the Archdiocese, made the statement "Lesbians living together as couples are in disaccord with Catholic teaching." I think I am past the point of being angry and incredibly sad.
As a nonpracticing Catholic I have always observed and shook my head in disbelief at the inconsistencies that the Church has mandated. The Church can turn a blind eye to priests molesting children and even put those offending priests back to work in parishes where more children are to allow them to molest again but they are going to dictate to the rest of the world that IVF or ART in general is unnatural and somehow evil, that being in a loving, committed, relationship with a person of the same sex is wrong, and instead of helping it's members who endure great pain through divorce the Church treats them as outcasts.
And please don't even get me started on the Church's silence during the time Hitler was murdering millions of our Jewish brothers and sisters!!
(Breathe! Marna breathe!)
The saddest part about the Church's latest round of utter insanity is there is nothing you or I can do about it because the schools in which these rulings occur are protected under the law because they are private.
Again Ken, thank you for writing about something that is so incredibly emotional to many who are struggling with infertility -- and you are correct religion does factor into family building and not always do the two mesh harmoniously.
Posted by: Marna Gatlin | 03/27/2010 at 12:47 PM