The deep grief of infertility is the realization that what matters most, to many of us, is a life and a world we share with our children. The material things we thought mattered become a painful mockery—"What use is this house if its not filled with the sound of children laughing? Why am I working so hard for one promotion after another? I don't want my legacy to be this business. I want it to be my son or daughter." Even the image of a catastrophe clarifies our priorities—If there were a ______________(fire, flood, earthquake) the first thing we think about is, "Are the children safe?" Because, that is what matters most to us.
To dismiss the grief and fear of infertility as an "obsession" is to miss this basic truth. What we value most in life, from the intangibles of meaning, love, faith, and truth to the physical needs of comfort, touch, and nurture are for most of us, intertwined in the image of and need for our children. It is my life's work and the work of The Stewart Institute Foundation to meet the emotional needs of women and couples facing what may be the most-difficult grief of their life—the fear of losing their children.
Reposted with permission from The Stewart Institute for Infertility